so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
