We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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