I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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