just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit