Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So vagazzling was a success
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
