i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.