I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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