where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize