i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Screwed.edu
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
