just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
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if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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