I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
