Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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