she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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