After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
