Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
