She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
