If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
