at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So many bounce houses so little time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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