Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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