Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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