Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
