Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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