Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
