Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
