The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
