walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
