Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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