i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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