I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
