Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
