What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
