I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
