We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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