you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do herpes really smell.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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