escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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