I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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