Cold hands, warm shart.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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