let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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