i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
