So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
