your parents love me but you hate me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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