You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
