New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
