I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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