we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
