his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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