I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
