OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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