I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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