I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
