there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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