I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
