Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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