New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
