just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
