I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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