Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How does one acquire holy water?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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