I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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