You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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