don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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