That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
